Using the throat of an animal will add hidden content to my pieces as they will be rings. The idea of "sticking your fingers down your throat" is closely linked to food. As this is how many of eating disorders develop into a ritual.. or routine.
Having been a adolescent girl who had unfortunately came under the popular umbrella of bulimic, I believe this change in direction is a powerful exploration into my thoughts and feelings towards eating disorders.
I lost 3 stone in the space of 6 months at one point in my life. It hurt to sit down, it hurt to eat and it hurt to laugh - as all these things cause stain to my bones. I do not feel apathy towards my actions -if not quite the opposite. I am ashamed I came unto such a condition - I chose to do that to my body. I did not respect myself nor did I respect my mother when she pleaded me to eat the meals she lovingly created. The consumer dogma I was under pressure from was pathetic to say the least; thanks to that (and a few crude words from an ex boyfriend) I decided to deny my body what it needed.
It is interesting to think about why I was so weak willed at that point in my life. Soon after the eating disorders passed I was diagnosed and put on medication for the foreseeable future. Maybe my weak will did never did disappear, it was just masked by 40mg a day.
From "Seven Evil Thoughts"
From "Impulses"
